Uniquely Maladjusted: Slobby Jos

I am not sure why it is, but every single (vegan) sloppy jo recipe I have seen is made of some form of processed soy product or seitan. Don't get me wrong. I love seitan--just not that much to go through the labor of shredding it. And somehow using texturized vegetable protein (TVP) or crumbled tempeh just defeats the purpose of trying to be a vegan. The idea is to get away from over-processed and artificial food products, no? So, along comes the idea to use lentils. Little legumes that are uber high in protein. When jazzed up with enough goopy sauce, they look a little bit like ground meat. Win-win. I get a vegan sloppy jo. The world gets a sloppy jo recipe sans TVP. Cue the choir, someone.

I now dub these "Slobby Jos." (B is for "bean" instead of P, which is for "processed". I think too much, don't I?)

Recipe makes about 2-3 servings.

Ingredients:

2tsp olive oil (enough to coat the bottom of the crock pot)

1/2 onion, chopped

1 garlic clove, minced

3 tbsp chili powder

1 tbsp stone ground mustard

2 tbsp tomato paste

1/2 cup water

1-2 tbsp barley malt syrup

1 tbsp shoyu

1/2 cup of dry lentils, cooked

Sauerkraut + crusty rolls for serving (I like Bubbies brand of Sauerkraut as it is preserved with enzymes instead of vinegar--happier on the tummy!--and I served my slop on sourdough-rye rolls from Le Petit Outre)

Directions:

This is a throw together recipe. I got it going, finished washing my dishes and straightening my side of the room and it was ready to serve. Although, I warn all those with roommates, this dish does have a rather "alum-onion" smell... Step number one in prep: open a window.

Turn crock pot on HIGH and add olive oil to warm. Add the onion and garlic to the pot after the olive oil is warm, toss to coat. Cover the mixture to allow the onions to quasi-brown before adding the rest of the ingredients.

Mix the chili powder, mustard, tomato paste, water, barley malt and shoyu together in a mug/cup. I recommend using a fork and stirring like mad. At first, nothing will come together and it will seem like a hopeless job, but keep whisking. Eventually the sauce will be homogeneous. (Think, stirring a fresh jar of peanut butter).

Dump the cooked lentils and sauce into the crockpot with the semi-clear onion mixture and stir. Keep the crockpot on HIGH, but leave the lid cocked part way open. This will allow moisture to evaporate as the sauce condenses. Allow the slop to bubble away for about 20-30minutes, stirring here and there to prevent the goo from burning.